Here is a painting I finished some time ago. I was unsure of it and am still unsure of it. I considered painting over it but a friend of mine told me he would be very sad if I did.
Acrylic on canvas
I need to pick up some new canvases and some phthalo blue (the best blue - I go through that stuff like nothin' else). I am unsure what to be painting next but I do know I have more painting to do.
Painting is still one of the few things I enjoy doing. My grief is changing. I thought it would be over by now. Sometimes I feel like it is, but it in fact has become less apparent, still hidden deep within me somewhere. My moods are erratic, I don't enjoy things that I used to and I am a bit of a shut in. I worked for years to become a very happy and positive person no matter how stressful my life became but I feel like that is fading away. I am a different person from three months ago. But things are improving. Day by day I am returning to some normal semblance of a human being. The good weather is helping. I am hoping by summer I will be mostly repaired.
At least I have painting to soothe me. I just hope that the sadness and the art are not synonymous, that my art can exist without the sadness. Only time will tell, but I will not stop trying.